The first two paragraphs do not write with “I.” There is only the diary format to show us that this is told from the first person. One example of this is, “Anyway, what the heck, am not planning on writing encyclopedia, if any future person is reading person is reading this, if you want to know what a ‘demon’ was, go look it up,” This is barely noticeable when you are reading as your brain tends to fill in the missing words, which creates a puncture in focus once it is noticed. This puncture takes the readers out of the story and forces them to go back and reread the previous text. It also makes them double check what they just read because their brain fills in the missing words and the entire point of writing this way to to exclude those words.
This type of writing can give off one of two emotions: rushed or casual. When someone is writing when they feel rushed they tend not to use smaller words. However, this is conflicted by the interweaving of small details throughout the text. In the aforementioned quote, there is the drawn out branch of encyclopedias from the original though. This leads to the belief it is a very relaxed and casual state of writing. This, in these first few paragraphs, reads as a stream of consciousness type of writing. “Last night I dreamed of two demons having sex and found out it was only two cats fighting outside the window. Will future people be aware of concept of ‘demons’? When they find our belief in ‘demons’ quaint? Will windows even exist?” These are the first few lines where these writing tactics stuck out to me. I think the beginning of any story is — arguably — the most important unless there is a big twist later on. The beginning sets the tone to how the rest of the story is going to go. If the tone suggests relaxed and casual, the reader will read it with the same tone. If the tone is rushed and urgent, it sets the reader on edge and they get thrown into the action of the story a lot faster.
I thought what you said about the puncturing of focus was really interesting. I noticed that as I was reading, I continuously had to reread lines as I kept misunderstanding what I was reading.
As I commented on another post, it’s really interesting to see how people interpreted the writing style of this piece. I didn’t think that much of it. I assumed that since it was his diary, he was simply writing in shorthand.
You mention how the beginning of the story sets the tone, and I’m curious to know what you think of the tone within the opening paragraphs and how they relate to the rest of the story.